Catching up

I had some passport pictures taken and it’s always a struggle between what you think you look like and the reality.

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Then I had a dream where I didn’t feel comfortable with how my teeth were and didn’t smile.

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When sitting in a coffee shop and flies are hanging out, I just think of them barfing all over everything they land on and how it’s completely disgusting.

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Sometimes I forget how gross it must be for a vegan to date an omnivore… Especially when she adds extra dried shrimp and fish sauce to her salad.

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The Musee Mecanique is worth checking out, especially the French execution. #spoileralert

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Topics like mochi must be discussed over dinner, but when asked how do I get the consistency right, I just tell them they don’t have the magic.

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When I was a kid, my dad would tell me weird stories about work… Like this time a guy in Chinatown randomly asked if he would like to buy a bottle of mice fetus wine. I asked him what it was for and he had no idea.

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I just had some lobster sashimi topped with tobiko and I always think of the generations I’m murdering in my mouth and Joe delicious they are with their gentle, salty popping.

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When life is too real

I get these csa boxes delivered to my house. It’s like a farm service where they deliver you super fresh, organic produce to your door for only thirty five dollars. Anyway, I get this head of cauliflower and I see this brown thing between the branches. I thought oh! This might be a cool beetle or something! Then I look closer and realize it’s squirming and trying to crawl away. As I was deforesting his home, I start freaking out about it. He’s eating and shitting all over my cauliflower. If you wanna ever know what caterpillar dookie ever looked like, here it is.

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You’re welcome. So here’s Noctua Pronuba, a crop pest.

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Then I took some passport photos… And you know… They never really look like how you think they do…

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Kingdom of Dumplings

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I have a pair of childhood friends that are twins and they sure love to eat. One of them is dieting with me (slow carb) and the other isn’t. I went out with the one that wasn’t and she wanted all the Xiao Long Baos. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s a delicious, steamed dumpling that’s made with broth and fat, as well as pork and veggies. When steamed, the insides become soupy and amazing. Anyway, since I couldn’t eat their delicious outsides, I felt like a spider sucking the delicious insides of a being.

And I loved it all.