Daggers in my eyes

Whenever I’m too full, (I’m the worst with portion control) I imagine a party in my stomach.

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I’ll use anything at hand to shade me from the sharp sting of the sun in my eyes.

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Don’t you hate it when you get the smallest speck of dust between your eye and contact? How is it possible to feel like the pain of thousand daggers and the fiery burn of a dragon’s breath in your eyes? Only those that wear contacts will know this pain.

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Catching up

I had some passport pictures taken and it’s always a struggle between what you think you look like and the reality.

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Then I had a dream where I didn’t feel comfortable with how my teeth were and didn’t smile.

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When sitting in a coffee shop and flies are hanging out, I just think of them barfing all over everything they land on and how it’s completely disgusting.

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Sometimes I forget how gross it must be for a vegan to date an omnivore… Especially when she adds extra dried shrimp and fish sauce to her salad.

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The Musee Mecanique is worth checking out, especially the French execution. #spoileralert

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Topics like mochi must be discussed over dinner, but when asked how do I get the consistency right, I just tell them they don’t have the magic.

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When I was a kid, my dad would tell me weird stories about work… Like this time a guy in Chinatown randomly asked if he would like to buy a bottle of mice fetus wine. I asked him what it was for and he had no idea.

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I just had some lobster sashimi topped with tobiko and I always think of the generations I’m murdering in my mouth and Joe delicious they are with their gentle, salty popping.

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When life is too real

I get these csa boxes delivered to my house. It’s like a farm service where they deliver you super fresh, organic produce to your door for only thirty five dollars. Anyway, I get this head of cauliflower and I see this brown thing between the branches. I thought oh! This might be a cool beetle or something! Then I look closer and realize it’s squirming and trying to crawl away. As I was deforesting his home, I start freaking out about it. He’s eating and shitting all over my cauliflower. If you wanna ever know what caterpillar dookie ever looked like, here it is.

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You’re welcome. So here’s Noctua Pronuba, a crop pest.

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Then I took some passport photos… And you know… They never really look like how you think they do…

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Predatorial eyes

Every time I go out and do anything, I seem to always spot animals and insects. Jay says I have predatorial eyes. I saw this deer hop over a wire fence like it was nothing.

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I also saw a kid in a cute bear hoodie, so I incorporated that into the drawing. Then I had this dream of my old pet rat, Porkbun, and that some random factory worker found his parents by ways of DNA testing. He told me that I should take care of them, even though the mother was mummified and the father was really fat. I then panicked, wondering when I fed Porkbun last and hoped he wasn’t dead, either. (He’s been dead for over ten years.)

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