L is for Lamprey

Welcome back, Amy! Woooo! It’s been very hectic lately. Anyway, L is for Lamprey.

“Okay honey, it’s bedtime!”

“I want a story!”

“Once upon a time there was a sad little lamprey that wanted nothing more than to have friends. This proved to be very difficult for him because every time he got close to someone, he would start sucking their blood! Friends would throw fits, cry or even pull him off them and hurl him! Little lamprey was not too happy about this. He didn’t know what to do. He slithered off and cried to himself. One day, he saw a group of lampreys sucking the life out of a poor baby fish. He screamed at them to leave the fish alone. He swam and headbutted these other lampreys, trying to free the fish. The lampreys got really annoyed and swam away, leaving the poor fish almost completely drained. The fish thanked the lamprey and told him that he was a magical fish and would grant him any wish he wanted. The lamprey thought really hard and said that all he wanted was a friend that wouldn’t run away. The fish said that his wish was granted and he would soon have a mate to accompany him. Sure enough, a little lady lamprey came into his life and they swam off happily into the sunset, sucking blood from other little creatures as they went. Moral of the story? There is none. Go to sleep!”

(Yeah, this is the mom I’m gonna be in some later part of my life.)

K is for Koi

Which came first? The Koi or the goldfish? Actually, the goldfish was bred out of the Prussian carp over a thousand years ago in China. Unfortunately, since man has bred them to be beautiful and colorful, they make easy ohm nom noms for herons, raccoons and other animals.

It’s like, “Hey! look at me! C’mon, eat me! I don’t even contain poison and I’m delicious. How can you say no?”

“You’re right, I can’t say no.” *Gulp*

And those are the last words you’d hear from a Koi.

J is for Jellyfish

Well, we know enough about jellyfish for me not to even talk about it! They’re delicious with soy, sesame and chili sauce, they can be seen in blooms of 100,000, and freshwater jellyfish aren’t the stinging kind. There is, however, one species of jellyfish that is considered immortal. After this jelly reaches its mature state, it reverts itself, absorb its tentacles and turns back to its polyp state. If it weren’t for predators, it could do this infinitely. Pretty cool, huh?

I is for Icefish.

Some species of this fish is see-through. Yes! SEE-THROUGH! I guess it’s because they live in such crazy cold waters that their bodies can’t support visibility. Ninjas of the sea! What’s more amazing is that these little fishies not only survive in waters of -2 and 4 degrees Celsius, but they have antifreeze in their blood and body fluids! Super-weird, right? But oh-so-fascinating. I know all these weird facts about these creatures makes you really interested in the species. Now go out and learn!

H is for Hydra.

The Hydra is surely a strange underwater creature. Though this one is a freshwater invertebrate, it can pretty much regenerate itself if chopped into little pieces. So, really, you can never get rid of it. You’re caught in a swordfight with a Hydra, you slash him to bits, thinking,  “Mwahahahah! Victory at last!” You were so very wrong. Not only have you not killed him, but you’ve created a hundred little mini Hydras that’ll just pop up and chop you to pieces. Doesn’t this remind of you of Mickey and the magical broom? Maybe they got that idea from this little creature. (It’s a good thing they’re tiny little buggers.)

And maybe you didn’t win the battle at all. Maybe he used his little tentacles and shocked you with his mighty sting. Oh yes, regrowth, magical stinging powers and is asexual? You’d think he was out of this world!

G is for Gurnard Fish.

The Gurnard fish is a type of flying fish that live mainly in the Indo-Pacific waters. While the fish does not actually fly, it does manage to use some pectoral fins to “walk” across the land. When frightened, it splays its fins to make itself appear much larger, scaring off potential threats. I wonder if it’s popular with the ladies… oh… yeah.

F is for Featherfin Catfish

The Featherfin Catfish can be found in the African rivers such as the White Nile. They’re bottom-feeders and they’re nicknamed the squeaker because of their ability to “talk” to each other with squeaks. Sounds pretty cute to me! Except that they’re super territorial and they’ll probably eat your face if you’re close to it… or its babies or something. Okay, maybe not since their diet is mostly vegetarian with a few salvaged meaty bits and they’re only like 7 inches long. But the chances are that you won’t run into this noisy fish, since it’s also nocturnal. Looks like everything is in your favor.

I wonder if they’re delicious. Mmmmm catfish…

E is for Emperor Shrimp

The Emperor Shrimp is more like a hitchhiker. It rides on the back of a nudibranch (awww jeah) because it likes to wave at all the little people while moving on its gigantic Macy’s day parade float. *princess wave*

Okay, so it’s not exactly like that. The shrimp rides on the back of a giant sea slug, where it picks and cleans its oh-so-smooth skin from parasites and nasties.

Mommy! Let’s ride on the giant sea slug and get free food while we’re at it! Sounds like a good deal to me.

D is for Dragonfish.

This little badboy is shy and prefers to live in the depths of 1500 meters. Not only is it really creepy and cool-looking, it also has glowing capabilities! Since most of its neighborly fish cannot detect the wavelength of these lights, it gives the Dragonfish great advantage to EAT THEM!

Dragonfish – *shines light* “O. Hai, neighbor! Check out my light. It’s pretty fantastical.”

Little fish – “Say… that’s rather mesmerizing, indeed. I… can’t… stop… staring… oooh, pretty lights…”

Dragonfish – *OHMPH* *gulp* “Delicious.”